It is a small, short word but a powerful one. When you get it right, the result is limitless. When I talk about change, what does it mean?
In my short experience working with clients, when we talk about one’s changing, it means, “to change one’s habit”. When we have done something so many times that our body knows how to do it better than our conscious mind, we call that habit. You do not think how to put one step in front of the other, or you do not take time to think consciously how to brush your teeth.
Habit is then, as defined by life coach Jessica Crowley “a series of unconscious thoughts, behaviours and emotions” that we have acquired through repetition.
The driver of habit is the emotional memories we attribute to each experience. Each of these experiences are connected to things related to time and place and because the brain is the storage of the record of the past, the moment we start our days driven by the memory and experiences of yesterday, we are starting our new, present-day from the past.
Because each one of those memories stored in our brain has an emotion, we can then conclude, our existence is then controlled by the past emotion. At any time in the present, the moment we visit our stored memories of our bad times, we immediately start feeling unhappy, we feel sad and we feel pain, by so doing we then drive our whole state of being to start the present in the past. This follows that our familiar past will soon be the predictor of our future and that we will in fact be guaranteed to have a bad day.
If you believe that your thoughts have something to do with your destiny and you cannot think greater than how you feel, and the feeling is a result of our thinking, by definition of emotion, we are thinking in the past, we are continuously living in the past. So, for most of our lives, we will be creating the same life, over and over to affirm ourselves that we are not alone in our thinking, see us turn to social media to connect with the world. We follow people who think like us, act like us and discard the rest. Those series of routine behaviours become us, meaning, we live a programmed existence by losing our free will. We are in a robbotic existance
I hope by now, you are conscious that, there is no invisible force leading your life but yourself through your thoughts. Jessica Crowley noted that “95% of the people, who by the time they are 35 years old, are fully a result of a memorised set of behaviours, reactions and unconscious habits”. This group is getting younger and younger in search of “friends, likes or retweets”
She continued, “Our reaction to life has, therefore, become hard-wired attitudes, beliefs and perceptions that function like a computer program”. When a person decides to be wake up from that situation, to live consciously, it is without a doubt that there will be resistance, because we are already in a different program, the past.
If we wish to change, to stop being led by the past and exercise our free will, we need to get into our analytical mind sphere, the space that separates the conscious from the conscious mind. Unfortunately, most people wait for a dramatical event to occur in their lives (diseases, losses or other trauma) to make the change, to wake up. Why wait?
Why wait to change your life from a position of trauma, suffering and pain than make a life change from a position of bliss, joy and inspiration? The moment we experience something strong, we are designed to pay attention to the cause and our brain takes a picture of that instant and frames it.
That brain activity we call it memory. That is the reason, long term memories are those which are created from highly affected events. The memory in its turn gives birth to millions of neurological communication to create “emotions”. When we can’t control our emotional reaction for some time, that single emotion becomes our mood. If we have to define “mood”, it is the “emotional reaction to an event in the past that we have allowed continuing”. And if we keep that mood for a longer period, it becomes our temperament (either of bitterness or gratefulness) and if we allow that emotion to go on for years it becomes our personality. We can conclude by saying, as demonstrated above, our past trauma or bliss creates our personality.
How do we achieve change and take control?
In my previous writings, I explained a few steps and here I will go deeper to show why change must happen and why more people find it difficult to achieve change. So, I urge my clients and tell anyone who reads my posts; having a consciousness around your emotion is where the real work start.
Because if you do not do that, your unconscious mind will keep recalling the events into your present mind to prepare you if that event happened again so then you will be ready to face it. Hence most of your life is in survival mode, in a stressful world where your mind anticipates the worst-case scenario of the past event to re-appear now or in your future. When you do that over time, your body starts going to panic attack without you even being aware.
In simple terms, you become addicted to your past without actually being aware that it is your way to affirm your limitation so that at last you can feel something is under control. Amazingly, when I sit with an individual who is hungry or physically unfit, and I ask them “why are you that way”, they go directly back to that event in their past and produce the same emotional result they had then. Why? Because their being is wired the same way today as it was wired when the event occurred.
The circuit has to change.